Thursday, March 1, 2012

Musing to find a muse

Does every writer need a muse?

It was Shovana Nararayan's ballet "The Poet's Muse" that made me realize that even Tagore needed a muse to become a prolific writer.

The performance by Shovana and her team of dancers was wonderful but the story of Tagore and Kadambari, his elder brother's young wife is what got me thinking. As the story goes, both were only a few years apart and Kadambari was very fond of poetry and literature. She edited every piece that Tagore wrote while her husband was desperately working away to bring out a newspaper. It was her loneliness, or perhaps her thirst for literature that brought out the best in Tagore. Yet, it is surprising that she never wrote herself. Perhaps, she too needed a muse.

When Sonali, my elder one was around I wrote so often. There were so many little incidences. Either she was arguing, lecturing me or fighting with her sister, Shubhi. In short she gave me lots to write about. It was an exciting and interesting phase in my life.

Then my muse flew off to America but surprisingly, Shubhi and my niece, Tuks continued providing me with masala . The former was an interesting subject, totally disorganised, lacking in any kind of normal perfection. For a mother it was discomforting to observe her, however i could have written a blog on her every day.
Tuks was another interesting subject. A gentle and kind person. You can put her in any situation and she will come out a winner. Her positivity made me look at her cousins differently and that too helped my writing.

Shubhi went off to Upenn, Tuks got married in Bombay and Sonali and her cat, Noami, live in New York. I now talk to Shubhi's answering machine and Tuks regales me with her stories from Mumbai.

Surprisingly, Sonali and i have started chatting again and we have a lot to share. She adores her dad, calls him Cute, ofcourse I have not told her that i have nicknamed him Mr. Fuse. She has Noami and her ailments and I have Mischief my dog's endless trips to the vet to discuss. She finds it difficult to leave NY because her cat suffers from separation anxiety and I am stuck in Delhi fearing Mischief might succumb to some infection. I call it the fear of the unknown but finally my pet does keep me engaged and I owe him this much.

At the end of the day, I find it difficult to accept but I might have to manage with a "no muse" situation in my life.