Super mom!

Shubhi, my 18-year old is home for the next couple of weeks. After working hard for a whole year she is now relaxing. And I am trying to spend some "Happy Moments" (as I call them) with her before she once again has enough of me.

Wanted to share this "middle" I wrote when she was fourteen.

Super mom!
“Am I a good mom”? I asked my teen-age daughter, Shubhi, jokingly. She looked a bit confused and then replied cautiously, “I guess, you are fine.”

“You mean nothing great”? I said provokingly. “Any grudges”? I questioned further.

“Yes, you do not cook fresh parathas, in the morning. All my classmates carry something hot that their mothers have cooked for them in the morning. Also, you never listen to me,” she replied sheepishly.

“But you leave for school at 6.15 am in the morning. It is too early to get into the kitchen and cook hot food. You know I can barely keep my eyes open when I am heating the milk for you,” I said trying to sound reasonable.

“And you know with age catching up, my energy levels are a bit low to keep pace with your stories”, I added.

Shubhi was not too convinced with my explanation. I could read the look in her eye, that said plainly, “Mom you are just too lazy.”

In her own way she was right. How can I forget my mom’s lunch packets? Though, we carried just plain sandwiches, but a complete breakfast of freshly cooked egg, porridge and cut-fruit waited for us before we left for school. And I, remember, her eyes were always wide open and she managed to look tidy and alert all through the day.

I made-up my mind to change for Shubhi’s sake.

But to be a “super mom” was not an easy task. The hot food packet was the least of the problems. It entailed many other tasks like driving her to the bus stop in the morning, listening to mindless stuff on the stereo while waiting for the school bus to arrive etc.

Also, I had made it a point to be back home before she returned from school. Of course, that meant no leisurely lunches with friends. I even tried my best to have a friendly chat with her about her day in school. To keep her in good humor, I organized a snack for her every evening and sat and ate dinner with her, something I had not done in a long time.

By mid-week, I had dark circles under my eyes, my smiles were burning my insides, I was feeling frustrated keeping up with the “super mom” act and much to my chagrin dear daughter had shown no appreciation. Yes, this could not last forever!

However, it was Shubhi who pounced on me one afternoon, “Mom, are you not feeling well? Go and spend time with your friends. Why don’t you just leave me alone? You are constantly watching over me like a hawk. Do you have nothing better to do”?

I was shocked at her outburst. “But, I was only trying to be a good mom, the kind your friends have”, I said.

“You mean the hot-lunch-packet-kind. I can do without it. Please give me only sandwiches. With all the oily food you gave me last week, I am getting pimples”, retorted the ungrateful child.

So within a week’s time “Super mom” had to sign off and exit rather unceremoniously.






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A letter to my granddaughter

Dear Ritika,
I just received a message from your dad. He said you had got a first class for the third consecutive year and it is a rare feat in Cambridge. He was going for your convocation ceremony with Anju(your mom) and little brother Anantya. When you receive my letter, they might have already reached.

I do not have words today to tell you how much happiness you have brought the whole family. We feel so proud of you. Your ‘dada’(grandfather) if he had been around would have said, “Ritika has fulfilled my childhood dream of studying economics in a prestigious college abroad”. I don’t think he ever shared this with you because you were very young when you went away to Singapore.

When children do well, the credit for their success goes to their parents as well. Both Anju, and Bunty have been terrific parents. I have seen your mom take care of you as a child and she was the best. Every single moment of her life she was concerned about your health, education and extremely careful that you grow up to be an honest, brave, bright and confident girl. These are the values you are going to carry forward in life. Your dad has worked hard for the family to be able to provide the best possible for his children. I am writing this to you as a parent who brought up three wonderful children and I know from my own experience what it takes to bring up children and set them on their path to success and then let them be.

As a grandmother I can share a small experience from life. People who succeed in life and lead happy lives are the ones who are kind, generous, share and reach out to others. Families that remain united are the ones who not only share happy moments but also stand up for each other in times of distress. I don’t know whether I have been able to put it across properly but always remember to take care of your loved ones wherever you are and whatever you do.

I will wait for you to come to Delhi so that I can give you a small present and a big hug. Your aunts, uncles and cousins send you their best wishes and loads of love.

Love,
Dadi

“I could not help but write on mom’s behalf. Unfortunatley my mother suffers from Alzheimers. She cannot write nor can she speak. However, it was as if she was writing and not me.”