A Wife's Conviction

When my cousin, Madhu's husband, Admiral Nirmal Verma, became the Chief of the Naval Staff, our family had reason to celebrate. Also, there were interesting reactions from family members, friends and who ever knew him. Most felt it was his integrity, humility, sincerity towards his job and his non-controversial temperament that enabled him to get the top job in the Indian navy. All this was of course true, however there was another very significant factor. And I call it, "A Wife's conviction".

I was still in college when Madhu married young and handsome, Nirmal. Infact, I had bunked college to attend their wedding in Bhopal. Madhu was special; we shared a strong bond having spent a lot of time together during our childhood and growing up years. However, soon after her marriage she left for Bombay and then for Russia. For the next couple of years we lost touch, as both of us were lazy about writing letters. She became busy with her baby boy, Hemant and me with my post-grad classes.

We met again in the year 1980. She had come to spend a day with us in my mom's house. I was still unmarried and Hemant was little over a year and quite a brat. As usual we gossiped the whole day. Of course, the conversation between us had changed dramatically. Madhu was full of Nirmal's achievements and the great career that awaited him. I was certainly in awe of her much married status and all the fabulous stuff she was engaged in being married to a smart naval officer, so I could be a bit biased. But, in those few hours that we chatted, I had sensed what I would call; "A wife's conviction", and I don't think I was wrong.

Madhu was in and out of Delhi after that. Their every posting to the capital brought us together. I was married, so I would go live with her when my husband traveled and vice-versa. Fortunately, our children also grew close.

Interestingly, in all my interactions with her after 1980, there was one common thread in our conversation, once again her conviction that Nirmal would achieve big things. Part of it was happening, for with every posting to Delhi, Bombay and Vishakapatnam, he was moving upwards in rank within the determined time-frame set by the Indian navy.

Nirmal, even as a young officer was a quiet, and a gentle person. However, Madhu with her extrovert and affectionate nature made a lot of friends where ever she went. "We would have very long evenings if I talked less", was her explanation for her exuberant personality.

Madhu had to often cope alone while her boys were growing up. "Being a naval officer's wife is not a piece of cake. Every new rank meant more responsibility for Nirmal and that meant more patience from my side. But I always wanted the best for him," she said plainly.

The CNS's (Chief of Naval Staff's) house they occupy today has been tastefully and creatively done up. A lot of it reflects Madhu’s passion for collecting old pieces of art, pottery from where ever she has traveled and her eye for detail and aesthetics.

Both Nirmal and Madhu have come a long way. In August 2009, Nirmal reached the pinnacle of his career. However, as much as I am proud of Nirmal, for me it is a pleasure to see "A wife's conviction" becoming a reality.