Goodbye! grand-mother

We lost mom on 16th March night due to lung infection. She was suffering from Alzheimers and was bed-ridden for several years.

Her grand-daughters,Pallavi (Tuk Tuk), Sonali, Ritika and Shubhi sent their tributes for the prayer meeting. Tuks read them out:

I am Pallavi Goorha Kashyup.
I will like to share my thoughts about Mrs Shashi, my nani . nani was the first one to hold me on my birth….and the most beautiful relationship began. Being the eldest granddaughter and staying close here in Press Enclave, I got the lion’s share of time with my grandparents. I learnt a lot about the life and the values from them.

My nani was strict disciplinarian at one end but the other end she pampered us .Whenever, me and my sis Sonali fought under the dining table she will scold both and then she will say…..you are the elder one…. forgive your younger sis. We had good times together. I still remember the time we spent in holidays in Kashmir and other places with nani painting the pots, embroidery and knitting.
I can’t forget interesting stories she used to tell about her childhood and then her children mom, mou and mama.

With a Masters degree in Hindi, she was reservoir of knowledge of Hindi Literature. Sometimes, she will be on the opposite side quoting Sharat Chandra and my Nana talking Shakespeare. It was great fun watching this old loving couple pulling each other’s leg.

I still can’t forget the mohavara she will shoot at the drop of a hat. I can request for sweets in the middle of the night…. teasing me… pat she says….” gilhari hamesha peda maangti hai”…. Then lovingly she will make me my favorite besan ka laddoo or kheer. (You didn’t taste it….sorry you missed something very delicious)

I still remember the beautiful lessons on life from her….. “neki kar kua mein dal”. I and all my sisters and brother Me, Sonali, ritika, Shubhi and Anantiya remember nani as a wonderful, loving ,caring human being. We all pray for her soul and hope to imbibe her teachings.

She was a great giver of love and affection. Smilingly, she managed both sides of the families all through her life. She helped the family bond with each other and never differentiated between her own children, grandchildren and nephews and nieces of a large extended family. She was adored by all.

Sonali’s note (from California) for prayer meeting.

I am not resigned to the shutting away of loving hearts in the hard ground.
So it is, and so it will be, for so it has been, time out of mind:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely. Crowned
With lilies and with laurel they go; but I am not resigned.

When I was little my nani's house was my favorite place in the whole world. When I went to visit nani, I got to do all my favorite things. She made my favorite foods, bought me books to read and taught me my favorite crafts. Nani would scold my mom when I complained about her. Nani taught me to mind my manners in public places. And she taught me to only set the highest standards for myself.

To me my nani was perfect and I loved everything about her.

In her lifetime Nani embraced many changes: A young girl from Allahabad travelled the world with her husband, learned to speak the Queen's english and raised 3 wonderful children. She was a talented artist who inspired her daughter and granddaughters to paint. She was a caring wife who indulged my grandfather in every possible way. She was a gracious hostess who opened her home and her heart to everyone.

Nani was the most fragile woman I had ever known. But she gave us all strength to face our toughest challenges. And she conquered our hearts with her love.

Nani no longer lives in the house that I loved as a child. But she lives in my dreams and aspirations. Halfway around the world, she inspires me with her courage, her love and her simple faith in the goodness of everyone.

I feel her comforting presence in my toughest moments and it helps me live my life to the fullest.

Thank you Nani for being perfect.

That’s what Ritika from Singapore has to say about her Dadi:

"I will always remember Dadi as an incredibly giving person, who cared for her family members deeply. She also had considerable patience, which proved extremely useful when she tried to teach me hindi, though I'm sure my ridiculous pronunciations secretly amused her. Her stories were fascinating and insightful, and ensured that we all remained connected to our roots and that, regardless of where we lived, we knew where we had come from. Some of my fondest memories from my visits to Press Enclave are of listening to Dadi's stories, either about her freedom-fighting relatives or about how Amitabh Bachan used to play in her backyard. She will be sorely missed by all her grandchildren, and we love her a lot.'


Here is what my younger sister, Shubhi writes from US :

Whenever I think of my Nani I think of sari's and sunshine, the smell of agarbatti's and Olay cream. I think of bhindi and ParleG biscuits dipped in tea, the Ramayan and Mahabharat. I think of hugs and kisses, knitted sweaters and long hindi lessons. Most importantly i think of being loved unconditionally and completely.

When I actually sit and consider every good thing in me, I realize I've learnt it from her. She taught me to love my country. She spent countless afternoons telling me stories from the Ramayna and Mahabharat. Then she would spend the evenings teaching me Hindi lessons. Without her I would be an Indian Born Confused Desi who would not have passed 8th grade Hindi.

She taught me there was no difference between a boy and a girl. And I was to never let anyone tell me any differently. She taught me to always be on my feet and to not let myself lose focus. She taught me to treat people the way I would want to be treated. She and Nana taught me to love books and to dream big. Every fortnight they would take us on an excursion to the bookstore. My dreaming and aspirations began at the age of 5. She taught me that even though my parents could be obstinate and unfair, they still loved me and would eventually cave in to my demands. She taught me the difference between faith and hysteria. And that everyone deserved love. And most importantly she will keep saying till the last ball ….. sometimes I can’t trust the Indian Cricket team, "ye sab ulle hain***"…..poor guys….even when they actually won the match.

It is hard for me to say how much I love Nani No child could ever have had a more supporting, loving and involved grandmother. Even though my heart breaks as I write this, I know I will never lose her. She lives in my mothers smile and in my sisters heart. I carry her with me wherever I go. I love you nani.

Mrs Shashi will remain in our heart all our lives and continue to spread that amazing love, affection and inspiration through her noble thoughts.
On behalf of my parents, my mausi and mausaji my mama/ Mami and the whole family I thank you all for being here with us today. We all appreciate your love and affection.We thank many other friends and relatives who couldn’t join us today.