Fads to burn fat

There is so much unhappiness all around after the terror attacks that I want to share with you a funny piece that I wrote during my creative phase some years back.

Fads to burn fat
"To be trim means feeling great. Imagine you can get into all those lovely clothes you have put away,” remarked, my daughter, Sonali, the ‘trim-one’ in the family. The teen-ager’s latest fad was a twenty-four inch waistline for herself and a “well-sculpted mom”.

However, going for morning walks was something I could never do. All the methods tried by my mother had failed miserably. Finally, dad had summed up, “It is still night for her, don’t waste your time.”

Unfortunately, years had flown past so quickly. With school finishing, basketball sessions were over and in College, only nerds went for Physical Education classes. Of course, the PE teacher at the end of the year had a novel way of dealing with us. The ratio was two ‘chakars’, nearly 3 kms, around the college compound, for a single attendance.

Honestly, how and when I acquired the extra six inches, I do not know. So when the ‘trim-one’, pushed me into an exercise regime, I decided to let life take its own course.

The going was simple. Ten minutes on the stationary bike, where I read my latest Anita Desai, another twenty on the treadmill, watching MTV, and later some weights of all sizes and shapes. But my luck soon ran out. At the end of the first week, perched on the weight machine, I could see the needle swing swiftly to the right. “Cluck-cluck” went Suleman, the instructor. I had gained an extra three pounds.

“What have you been eating”? I was questioned severely. “The usual meals and a bit of snacking,”I, replied tactfully. “Aren’t you following our diet plan,” he demanded. “Morning black tea and two biscuits, breakfast a slice of brown bread and some fruits, for the main meals eat a bowl of salad and vegetables, no cereals and no snacking. And pay for the diet plan tomorrow,” he went like a tape recorder.

And in one stroke my food plate had been emptied out. I had just picked up kulfi from Nathu’s and my kid cousin had brought home a chocolate truffle cake. “What a waste of a happy life and such good stuff”, I felt, simmering with anger. While the family gorged on the delicacies, I sat in a corner with a dish of red, green and white tasteless strips called food.

A week without doughnuts, Chopsticks and Dominos seemed like eternity. One night I felt so deprived I sneaked quietly to the fridge, and devoured a large piece of chocolate cake. The result was so satisfying that I was forced to make small changes.

Now, during the day it is strictly Suleman’s diet plan and after mid-night my own. Of course, I carefully avoid the weight machine and pretend not to notice Suleman’s confused looks when he watches me on the twister. But, I am not the guilty party. After all, Suleman never did specify a diet plan after mid-night. My only worry is upsetting my ‘trim-one’. May be, for her sake I will try again. Not now, but a month before she returns home for vacation. Till then, the future “well-sculpted mom” can continue with her nocturnal binge.